Venting

It's funny how fast anger boils in us so fast, how hard we try to keep it from boiling over... how we fail so fucking miserably. Well, some of us. Mostly me.

How the fuck do you sit there and tell me that I'm immature when you can't even get over your selfish desires. You act like you're four years old and you just got told you can't have candy. I'm trying to be the bigger man here, and tell you that it's "ok." Try to baby you into this world without thinking you can do whatever. But I can't even see straight I'm so pissed. Age doesn't make you superior. Because honestly, I've met children more mature than you are. Can you honestly not see how you're hurting people when you trail this fiery venom you call friendship? And to sit there, after I apologized for being immature in your eyes, and talk to me about Gabe, telling me how you want to see him and that you can't because his host parents wont let him leave the house, and then me, asking a simple question such as "Why can't you go over there and hang with him at his house?" you don't really have the authority to tell me that you, "Don't want to tell me because I might judge you and your problems." That is the pinnacle of immaturity. HAHA. Don't you ever think that for one second I could judge you. I've been listening to you vent your problems for years now. How can you be so selfish and close minded?

You are going to be eighteen in three months. I hope to God someone teaches you. Teaches you how to talk to other human beings. That life isn't a cake walk. You can't sit in a corner and pout every time someone doesn't give you what you want. And as much as I would like to be that one to do that, I won't be. I'm too young to get through your head. Too immature in your eyes. I don't know about enough of this world to tell you, an eighteen year old, what to do. After all, I'm only fifteen. But one day, when you're older, I hope you'll see that age isn't superior to anything. Just because I'm three years younger than you, and I don't understand some things, doesn't mean that you can assume.

I feel better. At least I didn't say this to her face. I would have hated myself. Bottling hate is better for me.