Foreground

There are bigger things than him, I don't know how I forgot. I didn't ever need him to keep me happy, it's-

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M PLAYING AT. GODDAMNIT.

And the water hurts while I splash some of it on my face, but I can't seem to stop and I'm sick with these thoughts and maybe a bit deranged and maybe I belonged in that mental institution. I'm not slipping through, not completely, but just a little. My stomach turns over every time I let memories slip through and I want to throw them all up, one after one. I'll be Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind and I'm offering you Jim Carry's role, and please, please, mostly forget about me until it's okay for this to happen, please. I'll forget you, I promise. I can stop at the water fountain and be his "little psych girl" and have his arms tighten around me and eventually the memory of you will fade in to dreams of a promise of a better tomorrow. But as of now, I don't want any of it. I want to sit in the shower and turn the water as hot as I'm ablt to and let it beat down and scorch my skin and forget. forget. forget. Please?