Honey, Stay A While

The other day I had an imaginary relationship with someone I didn't know. We held hands behind my eyelids and kissed and he ran his fingers through my hair and I was smiling and whispering to him in tones that most people can't hear but we could because we were on the same brain length (or wavelength) just for a split second. I tried to ask him to understand why we couldn't have a very long relationship and he told me he waited forever and a day just to die until he met me and I changed his life and the talk that he didn't want to have was killing him and ripping his heart out of an empty rib cage. I ruined him behind closed eyes and he asked me to understand why he couldn't (if he even wanted to) have a relationship with me because I wasn't worthy enough of that type of commitment. My eyes burned and I opened them to find nothing and everything sprawled out in front of me like a train wreck and a mirror broken into a thousand peices that reflected a broken finger that meant something to me. My ear throbs in the nook that makes me hear so my head immediately starts throbbing and popping pills comes so much easier when you have a reason to feel. They've all applauded me in some way, blank eyes staring deep into the window to my soul that I think I should change and dessicate so much I'm not me anymore. Her eyes move back and forth over me and won't stay still because she's cried soo much and they won't stick to the walls of her beautiful irises so I cry with her and let her lean on me so she can have some peace and know she can be loved. Sprawled out on a kitchen floor with people moving in every which way, loosening to music that blurs into something that only makes me want to sleep there with a bottle of rum I haven't opened so I can keep holding it like a lover around it's waist and pretend I'm that damn bottle. I keep thinking of things to say and Bon Iver keeps surfacing with red hair and bare feet in the middle of the night. So what if I don't have a dream, asshole?